What I Am

About a year and a half ago I wrote a post about all the things I am NOT.  You can read it here.  Lately, though I’ve been focusing on what I AM.  Well, let me clarify.  I wasn’t focusing on all that I’ve accomplished or skills or how good I am.  No, I was thinking about what the Scripture says I am in Christ – what does God actually say about me.  It is quite eye opening. 

Several times God says that I am “holy and blameless,” or “holy and without blemish”, or “holy and beloved.”  He says I’m free from sin.  He says that I am the residence (temple) of the Holy Spirit.  He says that I am called to proclaim His Excellency.  He says I am His friend.  And on and on it goes.  It is astounding to read and consider all the things that our Father has to say about me, about the real me, about the me that He sees.

The problem is that most of the time I simply don’t believe it’s true or I chose not to believe it’s true because it doesn’t feel true to me.  I still see and feel all the ugliness and sin in my life and cannot possibly accept these wonderful things He says about me.  I would guess that many of us feel the same way, so we walk through our life with an identity crisis – what the Bible says about us doesn’t match how I feel about me.  So I got to thinking, “Should I believe what I feel right now or should I believe the God-Who-Doesn’t-Lie?”  You would think it would be a no-brainer, but it really isn’t.  The right now seems so real and so solid and so true, but the words of Scripture seem so far away and ethereal – words that I can’t quite grasp. 

So I found myself having to make a tough decision.  I decided to believe what God said.  I decided that in spite of what seemed solid evidence, I would firmly affirm His view of me.  So I started replacing the self-talk with God-talk.  Instead of,”You’re an idiot,”  I would say, “You are holy.”  Instead of “How could you…” I said, “I am free.”  I had to – and continue to – speak what God says is true until it takes root in my heart and grows larger in my life, crowding out all the rest.  Truth has a way of doing that.  It has power to change us.  Now let me just say that this not simply the “power of positive thinking,” nor is it name-it-and claim-it arrogance or a psychological trick.  I see it as choosing to believe something that God our loving Father has said is true.  I’m not trying to create a new reality or presume upon His goodness.  I got to the point where I either had to believe and accept all of Scripture or walk away.  It is either all true or none of it is true.

I am choosing all of it and that includes a peek at who I am.  I like who I am.

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